Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." - Matthew 18:21-22 NIV
We’re often not openhanded with forgiveness.
Several years ago, I was deeply wounded by lies that were told about me. Eventually, the person sought my forgiveness. Though I said the words, I struggled inwardly to walk in obedience to God’s command. I knew what I should do, but carrying it out was far more difficult.
Months later, I saw them again—and instantly tensed. I clung to the offense like a comfortable robe, unaware it was filthy. As I reflected on my response, I realized I was behaving like a child caught mistreating their sibling. I knew what my Father expected, but I had not yet forgiven them in my heart.
Peter thought himself generous when he asked Jesus how often one should forgive, but Christ revealed that true forgiveness—like His love—has no limit.
I had read that passage countless times and reasoned that if someone repeatedly wronged me, the relationship would naturally sever. But when we truly pursue God, He exposes our blind spots. During my season of wrestling with forgiveness, He taught me a difficult but freeing truth: The temptation to relive the pain will resurface, but when it does, we must choose to forgive—every time.
God isn’t satisfied with mere words; He probes our hearts and orchestrates our circumstances until we truly release the offense. We often delay forgiveness, waiting until we feel ready or until the offender shows enough remorse. We might say, “I’m praying for God to help me forgive.” That sounds right, but it isn’t theologically accurate—forgiveness is an act of obedience, not a feeling.
We’ve all been wounded. Yet, through these experiences, God transforms us, refining us to reflect His image more clearly. The process isn’t painless, but the rewards of obeying Him far outweigh the heavy burden of unresolved pain.
When we remember all that God has forgiven us, we’ll be far less inclined to keep a record of wrongs. His grace should compel us to extend the same to others.
I have since offered true forgiveness in keeping with God’s Word—but it remains a daily decision.
Choose to extend forgiveness, and allow God to remove the sting of the offense. When you do, you will walk freely, unencumbered by the sin that so easily entangles.
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